Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Winter




Sydney Winter
Well winter has truly struck with a vengeance big time.  Especially over the past couple of days with the really bad cold front coming through to NSW. It's snowing up in the Snowy Mountains and feels like it could be snowing in other areas as well. Yet winter can also be a time of keeping warm with heaters, blankets, hot showers, warm food and snuggling. This winter is good for me because I've been snuggling with my loved one and have been loving it. We've been keeping warm on these very cold, long winter nights and it has been great.

Yet we have been getting colds and recovering from colds and the flu. That is one thing about winter and that is all the bugs that there are about.  I think last year I don't think I got sick at all and now this year I've been getting a lot of different things. It has been one after another, after another, after another which seems ongoing.... I hope that the immunity is building up because of all this as well as Deb's. We've been eating healthy yet we've also had a lot of different things going on and been really busy.

Sydney Winter
Sydney Winter
Sydney WinterWe have also had one hell of a busy weekend doing a whole lot of different things and going to different places. It seems to be a marathon of a weekend where we packed so much in that it wasn't funny. I remember on Sunday night feeling so tired and exhausted yet it was only the beginning of the week. On Friday last week I added up that Deb and I did at least between 15 to 20 things that day. Also we ate out or at least had something to eat for 3 times that day with the third time in the evening where our eye's were bigger then our stomach's... After getting back here it was revenge of the tummies or stomach's big time... Yet you live and learn. I will write about the past weekend on a blogpost soon and tell you what we did that was so busy... Even just thinking about it makes me tired because so far we've had a very busy week so far... It's also my Deb's birthday coming up on the 17th of July this coming Thursday.... Which happens to be the fact or day that my Dad is having his double knee replacement that very same day... If you think winter is meant to be a quiet time to relax and it is so tired... Then you've got another thing coming.... It can get big as my next blog post will attest... So see you soon... Another thing... Keep warm until then....

Sunday, June 22, 2014

First Dates ~ Part Two

Custom's House
Saturday night quickly came around where I was meeting up with Deb's on our second date where we met at a place in Chatswood which we both knew. As it so happens I chose the place which was outside Chatswood Seventh Day Adventist Church because it was the only place I knew which didn't have parking that you didn't have to pay. Also it was a bit of a blast from the past which was interesting... So I met Deb's on time and she drove us into the city to see the VIVID Festival. I found it amazing how she dealt with all the city traffic and the extra crowds because of show as well as numerous roads closures and still keeping her cool.... We tried one parking station that turned out to be all "Reserved" car spaces... So why have a parking station when they are all "Reserved" hey?! I suggested we try the Opera House Parking and I wanted to pay to help out with the night. The cost didn't matter because she was kind enough to drive us both in.

One of first pic's of Deb & I
After finding a park finally we arrived from the lower levels of the Opera House Car Park to the lights of VIVID. I'd never been before and this was a totally new experience for me. With my Asperger's I felt like a very big kid on a huge adventure and also on a 2nd date which was exciting... I had no idea what to really expect and I knew that we were supposed to meet a few of Deb's friends somewhere amongst the huge crowds near the Rocks. As we were walking it was like almost the most packed day at the Royal Easter Show with people everywhere and I know that I didn't want to lose Deb in that huge crowd of people. After a few phone calls and text messages we did catch up with two friends of hers who were a couple. I felt a bit strange to meet some of Deb's friends on a second date yet I just went with the flow... They were really nice the pair and somehow we were getting pictures taken together which I wasn't expecting. It was nice and also different because I hadn't been on a proper date in more than 5 years..
The markets

Deb
After the pictures and the introductions we walked through the markets where Deb wanted to take another picture of me out the front. So I took one of her also as well.  We went to this little organic healthy cafe place and had something to eat and drink which I ended up knowing as well. While we were there we ended up seeing quite a few more of Deb's friends which was interesting.... I had no idea whether it was normal to meet a whole heaps of her friends on a second date yet I didn't mind.. I also had no real idea what she thought of me although I had gone all shy around her in a real goofy way.. We ended up tagging along with the gang wandering around the festival taking pictures and video on my mobile phone. Also Deb took a few pics of me and I of her which was cool.. She was seeing my photographic side come out big time that night.. I also felt Deb was paying a lot of attention to me which was nice and also I wasn't used to it. I know that I felt a strong attraction to her yet was trying to act cool big time. We were talking away to eachother and found ourselves following the others further into the city which was further away from where the car was parked... I think we were both distracted from the sheer excitement of the night and we bid farewell to her friends. We meandered the way we came and saw this performer with a didgeridoo  and keyboards. I liked the music and told her I was in two minds to buy the CD for myself which was only $10..... Next thing I knew to my great surprise she went and bought me the CD that I wasn't expecting. I thanked her big time and was in awe. We then went to the Opera Bar to get a drink and I was so determined to pay for my own drink before Deb paid for it.... I ordered my drink and forgot to ask what she wanted as well until the bartender came back. It was to my horror and very great embarrassment that I forgot her because I was so used to being single and doing things for myself. Looking over at her after finally ordering a drink for  Deb I felt so bad because I accidentally hurt her without realizing it. I felt that it was "Foot in mouth" time for me with a classic Aspie social blunder. We found a seat to have the drink and talk about the night with what we saw.. It was getting well after midnight and I didn't know what time the parking closed or risk getting locked out so we finally left. I tried to show us the way down to the car park and I took us the wrong way.... I was trying to impress Deb with my good sense of direction yet failed miserably... lol... It was Deb who found the right way which put me in my place. I got distracted because of the night.
A flower man an I

Anyway Deb drove us back to Chatswood where we ended up talking in the car until about 2am in the morning which was really different. I was so surprised at how much we talked and all the the things we talked about. We seemed to click big time and I could relate to her as well. It was like I was a bit nervous as well whether to hold hand with her or simple stuff like that. Even at the end of the night didn't know whether to give her a quick kiss goodnight or a hug or what was appropriate. This was all new to me and I felt like a total novice as to what to do because it had been years of non dating or dates.  So we hugged "Goodnight" twice which was nice and it was so surprising because Deb gave me the most gentle hug. We agreed to text each other when we both got home to our separate houses to make sure we both got home safely. About half hour to 40 minutes later we texted each other then kept texting until about 3 to 4am in the morning or some unearthly hour... I was worried because Deb had a big day of making a cheesecake and other stuff... So there you have it... the story of our first two dates.... Little did we know that since then we have had and still experiencing many new adventures together.... With plenty more new stuff to come.... Just watch this space you all...


The Impressionist people

Deb's

MCA

MCA

Light Artwork

Deb at Opera Bar

Me at Opera Bar



Saturday, June 14, 2014

A First Dates ~ Part One

The Rotunda





Picture I took of Dog statue
Deb's meal
Wow. The past month or so has been totally amazing with a lot of different things have been happening. I was emailing someone online who I liked and we seemed very similar with interests and most importantly beliefs. Being a Christian as well was something which I was very happy about to find. So after emailing and talking for a bit that way which was great I was then asked out to meet at Balmoral for breakfast one Friday morning. To which of course I said "Yes. I would love to!"
My meal

Balmoral
The Friday morning soon came up and I was feeling really nervous because I had not been on a first date in about 5 to 7 years which is a very long time. So I prayed for me, the safe journey there and also for my date about getting there. I was a bit early which was good and it took me about 5 minutes to try to work out how to pay the parking metres..  I walked up to the rotunda and saw no-one there so I thought I was the first one there and was going to sit down. Yet I saw a statue of a little dog I liked and went over to take a picture of it to which I saw someone sitting on the steps of the rotunda which was on the opposite side where I was going to sit. I took a picture and realized that there was my date where we introduced ourselves to each other in person. At this time I felt a mixture of great excitement and also nerves about not really knowing what to do or say at last. I was also so surprised to see that we were almost the same height because I'm normally the tall one. My date's name was Debbie and she seemed a bit nervous as well. So we found a cafe to have something to eat and drink which was good.

From then on sitting in front of each other both our lives changed forever where we talked and got along really well. Also we are similar in a lot of different ways which was great. Over the next 2 hours or so we both found it easy to talk and it also went so fast. We also had a bit of a wander down the front path near the beach which was so nice because it was a really warm autumn day. There were quite a few people about doing there thing yet it was such a beautiful place to meet for the first time face to face. Deb had to go to work and wanted to stay longer to talk so we gave each other a hug I think and said "Goodbye" for now. She also invited me to go to VIVID with her and a few of her friends the next night on Saturday night after she worked which was nice of her...

As I was walking up back to my car my Mum gave me a call on my mobile phone which was cool... I told her that we went on a date and how we met. I think my Mum was quite surprised to hear that and also she had a Christian faith also... We spoke for a couple of minutes and Mum was interested in what happened..

As I walked up to the car I felt really happy, relieved and peaceful which was great... I saw a Bird Of Paradise flower and decided to take a picture of it which I liked. I knew the next day was going to be a big day with possibly a lot of things going on..

So after a big day on the Saturday I did meet up with Deb's and going to the city to see VIVID which I had never seen before... Also meeting a few new people as well... Yet that is the next blog post to come up with more pictures....

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Royal Easter Show

This may be a bit late yet I've just uploaded all my pictures from my camera so expect quite a few blog posts in the near future....

The Lovely Ladies
Good Friday this year at The Royal Easter Show was a bit of a nightmare if you wanted a quietish day out. To be honest it was anything but because we had some special real life Royal family visitors called Prince William and his beautiful wife Catherine AKA Kate. I was fortunate enough to go with a friend of mine and another friend of hers. I was the one who ended up driving to the train station to pick up her friend then drive to the show. Now once we got there... Do you think we could find a park?! No we couldn't. It was like a magical mystery tour where we went down a couple of dead ends and did a circuit or two of the whole road length of the show grounds. However we did manage to find a park then caught a bus to the gates...

A Cheeky Selfie
Walked in the gates where about  5 to 10 minutes in we were confronted with a barricade of some sort and heaps of people just standing there kind of waiting. We had no choice yet to stop as well. Yet we found ourselves near one of those little petrol railway circuits where we leant against the barrier. I took a lot of photo's on my mobile phone which I haven't uploaded yet. I contacted my other friend who we all was going to meet up with yet she was stuck with the crowds in from of this media type of scrum thing... Fast forward about one hour to one hour and forty minutes we just had to stand there... The most I got to see of the Royals was someones head and I'd accepted the fact that there was no way to see them... Then another half hour or so all the barricades were packed up and put away.. Now to find my friend which was another hassle... In a space or area of 100 or so metres or so... with many hundreds of people... it took about 15 minutes and heaps of texts to find each-other...

Amina
I think well after mid day and morning tea time everything started coming together really slowly. All of us united at last we went to near the food hall where I promptly had 2 Cheese-on-a-sticks which I had been hanging out for all year... We all also had a coffee, chai or hot beverage as well which was much needed. Then we went into the food hall to start looking at the show at last....

After the food hall I accompanied a friend of mine to get show bags for her parents which she needed to do. Going into the Showbag pavilion was so claustrophobic  because everyone was packed in like a bunch of Sardines... Even getting into the place was a nightmare... We were both not too happy about that.. So after getting the bags my friend decided to go home which was understandable... I went to the meeting point where the other 2 were supposed to be yet couldn't find them at this food venue... I managed to find a seat and text them.. Yet just after I did that I only saw them about 10 to 15 metres away at another table...Lol.. So I went to them and told them what had happened. It was very funny indeed.

Amina and I
The rest of the day consisted of looking at different things and seeing Masterchef's Amina El Shafe do a food cooking demonstration which was good because we had a comfy seat which us 3 needed. The tasting of the food was nice as well...

At this time the sunshine faded into a nice quite warm evening where it seemed we wouldn't see it to see the fireworks or stuff like that. As well all day I wasn't feeling the best and had to have some painkillers to keep pain at bay. I also didn't get much sleep the night before so I was exhausted. We ended up doing things in reverse catching bus back to parking spot, driving friends friend to railway station then driving my other friend home. I was offered a cup of tea which I so greatly needed and she heated up my heat pack which I needed. I swear I was so tired that I felt like falling asleep then and there on the lounge. She offered I could stay the night yet I declined for some reason.. Looking back on it now I should have stayed over and caught up on my sleep... lol...

I drove home and got home safely which felt so good. Yet what a day at the show where we were all so close rubbing shoulders and breathing the same air as the Royals.. What a day to remember hey in more ways then one... I hope you all had a Happy and Safe Easter... God bless..



Amina's food



Amina and the mc

Saturday, April 19, 2014

APR 11 Blueprint - Unique Perspectives

A little over a week ago on Friday night was a very big night for 16 artists and myself. The occasion was the opening gala night  of Blueprint - Unique Perspectives   

The venue was at Gallery Red in Glebe which is a small yet well known gallery displaying all out works of writing and photography over a 6 week photography or writing course (Whatever group we were in). With a mentor for the photography and a mentor for the writers. I chose to be in the photography group because as most of you know I've written my book and had it published as well as released.. Yet with the 6 week part time course was really intense because our project was to take a photo a day for 6 weeks then choose the best of the 6 weeks to put in the exhibition. The course was run through ASPECT http://www.autismspectrum.org.au/

To cut a long story short that Friday night was the first time that all of us had ever seen all our works together as one. I felt so very honoured to be part of this totally amazing group of people all on the Autism / Asperger's Spectrum. Not only have we achieved and overcome great obstacles in all our lives yet through the course we were each discovering our true creative potential I a very safe and supportive environment. Sure it wasn't an easy time for most of us including me because we all had our different battles to face... Even in the week leading up to the exhibition I and a couple of other people weren't sure whether we'd make it for the opening... Yet by hook or by crook I think all of did manage to turn up to the gallery that night... Each in their own way.

So here are the details of the exhibition...

The exhibition goes  from 11 April until the 29 April 2014.

Gallery Red is a commercial, contemporary gallery located in the heart of Glebe, showcasing emerging and established artists.
Opening Hours:
Monday-Friday: 10am-5pm
Saturdays: 10am-4pm
Sundays: Closed
This is also the address.. 
Gallery RedShop 11, 131-145, Glebe Point Road, Glebe, New South Wales 2037

Website and Facebook page...

https://www.facebook.com/events/502944806476853/

https://www.facebook.com/events/502944806476853/

http://www.galleryred.com.au/

It was a night of so many different surprises including myself... That night a person I had invited and I hadn't seen them in 20 odd years came. I was not expecting they'd come yet they accepted which was nice. Also it was so great to see my brother and fiance there as well.. The night came off without a hitch I must say due to everyone hard work involved in it.... 

You also have the opportunity  to buy any artworks to take home from most of the artists that are displaying. So you can take home a little keepsake or memento for yourself to have forever... Also it will be a great way to get Autism and Asperger's out there to the wider community Just by supporting this... Because out of one stone thrown into a lake it causes heaps of ripples to expand forth bringing a new and different wave on outlooks.. So come on down to Gallery Red to see the Blueprint Exhibition before it's too late and it's gone forever.... Believe me when I say you won't be disappointed...

Here's also a few pictures of the night I took... Sorry about the quality of some of them... It was quite difficult lighting...



















Friday, April 11, 2014

Robert Hughes Drama

Sexual Abuse Doesn't Discriminate!
Over the past few weeks to a couple of months the trial of that 'Hey Dad' actor Robert Hughes has been constantly been in the media and the news that it has been so annoying... Also I saw on the news the other night how two teenage girls were raped near Fairfield during the day of all times in a park. Most often when I watch the news I'm doing stuff on my computer, falling asleep or other things to keep myself distracted from all the bad stuff on it. I've noticed that if things start affecting me I do something else or other especially with the trial of Robert Hughes which has been so unbelievable it's not funny. I've had quite a few other things going on for me because over the past few weeks I have been so majorly depressed that I've not known what to do. Yet with the Robert Hughes trial I found my own history and past coming up when I least expected it too.

Also with my  Asperger's sometimes I find things quite overwhelming in a lot of different way. Ye seeing on the news that he has been found guilty and then the next night on 'A Current Affair' the interview with the old cast and how it affected them.. Sure I missed the first couple of minutes yet to watch it was very emotional and moving because the girls involved finally got justice after 25 to 30 odd years or so... I'm going to include some links for you overseas people to get the gist of what happened... https://au.news.yahoo.com/entertainment/a/22446785/robert-hughes-trial-former-hey-dad-star-found-guilty-of-sexually-abusing-girls-in-1980s/

Also the 'A Current Affair' thing.... It comes in four parts I think... http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article/8827547/the-cast-of-hey-dad-break-their-silence-part-1

Part 2. http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article/8827545/the-cast-of-hey-dad-break-their-silence-part-2

Part3. http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article/8827544/the-cast-of-hey-dad-break-their-silence-part-3

Part 4. http://aca.ninemsn.com.au/article/8827540/the-cast-of-hey-dad-break-their-silence-part-1

'Hey Dad' show information... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hey_Dad..!

So the show was a show of the 1980's in Australia and it was around when I was growing up as well. For me seeing all this stuff in the past few months as well as the good old Rolf Harris I think being charged as well has been quite hard and interesting.. It has also brought up things which I thought that I had already dealt with years ago. Even after writing my book I thought I was alright or good with it.. Well what happened me was I've been abused by two separate guys on two occasions. I'm not going into details because I've written it my book and I was discussing it with a professional just this morning yet I'll just go into the basics.

The first happened when I was about 3 and a half years old where my parents luckily caught what was happening.... What was really ironic and really weird the guy put on a record of the good old Rolph Harris just as he was doing it... I think the song was 'Jake The Peg'. So little did I know that 25 to 35 years later he's got caught himself doing stuff with little kids...

The second time was at a christian combined church camp with an adult male from the other church and I was only 13 at the time. It was on along weekend as well. The abuse happened twice that weekend which was horrible... I wasn't raped and it was only minor as my parents say. Yet it still did affect me greatly and I don't know why.

The third time I'm not sure about because it was a repressed memory prayer therapy thing and it supposedly happened when I was about 2 years old with another guy. So with that one I have no idea whether or not it did happen. Yet with other 2 they did happen and I remember them...

There's other bits of the story which I don't want to go into as with most things like this it can be quite complicate trying to deal with all this stuff. Yet with the guys or men who abused me they were never reported to the law or police and thus quite successfully got away with it scott free without a care in the world... They never got charged, questioned, interviewed or all that stuff yet still continue to roam this earth free of charge which isn't fair... One of the things that really, really gets me is what if they've done it to other small children over the past however many years and today they maybe continuing to ruin the innocence of beautiful kids. With one of the guys he was surrounded by all these kids who went to church with their families and all the time in the world there where he could've groomed them and do the things abusers do..  Who knows how many of those kids are or have suffered in silence if or when they got abused.. There are all these different, complicated feelings, thoughts and questions which are still valid even today... All these things have been haunting me lately and it has been horrible... I also saw on Facebook last night that another woman is having trouble dealing with issues brought up from this Robert Hughes trial. So I've been figuring that if it hasn't been just me trying to deal with this then other women must be going through similar things as well.. I remember posting info about the trial etc.. on my Facebook also then posting afterward words to the effect of "I saw this very haunting and moving interview last night. If this trial and all the media press coverage on it over the past few weeks brought anything up for people from the past or present... Please don't hesitate to seek help.... You don't have to deal with this alone...."

I'm also saying this now because of this blog post because it could bring issues up for you... Yet pleas remember you are not alone... Sure when I was talking to the professional today and he was asking me a few questions etc... I felt ashamed, guilty and asking myself how I could have stopped it etc.... It was like I was almost like a little kid sitting inside an adults body if you get me...  What has surprised me the most with this is how things have been brought up after so many years. It's not we who should be feeling guilty and shameful yet the perpetrators. One day I hope they will get their justice somehow.... Also by talking out in our recoveries and not being quiet we will hopefully shed light over the darkness of this nation of Australia then eventually the world... No child or person has to live in fear... I want this to be true one day in my lifetime....

Here's some more links if this has brought up things for you...

Adult Survivors Of Abuse

http://laurelhouse.org.au/?page_id=10

http://rainn.org/get-info/effects-of-sexual-assault/adult-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-abuse 

http://aaets.org/article120.htm 

Anxiety And Depression Fact Sheets

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms/anxiety-and-depression-checklist-k10 

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/whatitslike.cfm 

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/Depression/depressionexplained/index.cfm 

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms 

I've given you a lot of info and hopefully you will find it useful..... Remember you are not alone... No matter what...

 

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Found ~ After Three Quarter's Of A Life

Is the date or time Saturday 29th March 2014 at about 3:30am of any importance to you In any way, shape or form? Well it may not be for you unless you or someone else you know has a birthday on that day or there's significance for any other reasons... For it's important because something amazing happened..

I was just getting ready to close my computer and put it away to go to bed because I had to do something for my parents early that morning.... Just by chance again I decided to type in something on Google about ABC space fillers or something.... I came across this site where it had some type of forum of what the song could be.... Now this really pricked my eyes and ears up big time.. This is the link to the site... http://www2b.abc.net.au/tmb/Client/Message.aspx?b=57&m=245.
I was reading as quick as I could and tried to find the first few songs on Youtube yet sadly it turned out they weren't the ones. After 3 quarters of a life time ago I could barely remember the tune yet I knew when I heard it that would make my day...  When I came over these words... "It was a Mike Oldfield tune called Incantations Part 4."

My heart lifted and I went to Youtube as quickly as I could typed it in and started watching the clip....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wBRPepP3bM&feature=share
The instant I saw it and heard it I let out a bit of a yell fist pumping the air... I sat there transfixed and cried tears of joy. Memories of the past 32 years came flooding back to me because I was nearly resigned to the fact that I may never know the name of that song and go to my grave without it. Over the years I've made a lot of different attempts to find the name out yet could never do it which I felt sad about... I also heard that piece on a morning show yet that finished so I couldn't write in about it... I felt like the only on who had seen this amazing beautiful song and heard this...

I was so happy that I pasted this on my FB wall with the link to the song....
"OH MY CRUMBS!!!!! THIS HAS MADE MY WORLD...... For over half my life I have been wondering the name of this beautiful song that has haunted me constantly (even in the middle of the night)..... I have never known yet remember seeing it on the ABC as a kid... I can die happy now because one of my life's biggest mysteries has been solved huge time!! Thankyou God!!!"
I then went on a search to try and find other versions of it and here's a couple for you... 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OhRJf4VFgU
That one is my favorite version's because it had no interruptions and it was the longest version This version also had words with it which was good...
I also found a couple of live versions yet you had to skip to where the part I like started... I cried some more and was totally gob~smacked... I had to listen to it to make up for lost time... I tried to find it on Itunes yet it was so old that they didn't have it which I was so peeved at. I eventually found it on ebay and bought it.. Now I'm waiting for it to show up from overseas... 

Another thing that was really strange was that for quite a few days afterwards I feel really low as well as down. It was like. "What do I do now that I've found this song after 32 or 33 years?"
I've got no idea if it's normal to feel that way yet it really took me aback... A couple of days after that I found another name of a song around the same time that I had wanted to know as well... It came from a cartoon on ABC that my brother used to watch with a white dolphin of all things on it... I remember I used to him that song constantly as well the other one on the bus.... It used to drive other people batty around me and I remember getting into trouble because of it... For me that music was a real comfort thing for me and I felt safe with it.. It was like a friend almost and kept me company from the bad stuff that was happening elsewhere.... I've always related to music in my own unique way and it's has been a huge part of me...

So to find this music is still hard to believe yet I'm so glad that I have found it at very, very, very long last.... There's no words to describe it but to listen to it again....

P.S. I know the pictures don't really match the story yet they are nice.. I'm too tired to go looking for any moon or night photo's... Sweet dreams all...