Another Funeral...

This was written on 14/03/2016.

Last month Deb and I had another no so pleasant surprise. One early evening she was checking her Facebook messages when she  came across on that stopped Deb in her tracks. An old friend contacted her saying that a gay guy she knew died through committing suicide. The man who contacted Deb about this also let us know when the funeral was being held. The news was a big shock to Deb  and was totally unexpected.

We decided that we would go to the funeral even though it was way out west and a long drive to pay our last respects to him. With the week leading up to the funeral we had quite a few things going on yet the day quickly approached. I remember thinking that it was so strange that a friend of hers has died in February and how the month before we went to a funeral which was a real surprise for everyone involved.

 Friday had come and it turned out to be a really hot day weather wise. I decided to drive with the directions that I had printed out from Google. We were cutting it a bit fine and were going to get there on time... Then we got lost due to the directions not being clear and  what the actual places looked like. Driving a couple of kilometers of track I stopped and looked up the directions on my phone. It felt strange because it was the second time that week that we needed my phone for directions. We also realized at that point in time that we needed to buy a Navman or GPS thing for the car to help us... To cut the story short after the directions and managed to cross a very busy 6 to 8 lane road we found the place. After a false start of going to a wrong chapel and asking the main office we did find the right chapel. By this point I felt so bad because we were running late all because I got us late.

We both walked into the chapel to see how packed out it was with all his friends and family everywhere. Their were no seats left and people were standing listening to the service. Yet we went through the back and Deb's friend gave up his seat for her. Looking around I saw a huge variety of people from different backgrounds and age groups.

Down the front of the chapel was the coffin laid on adorned with memento's. Listening to the people speak like and also some family members moved everyone to tears. At one point in the funeral that called everyone up that wanted to give a flower up to the front to put on the coffin. The piece of music they decided to play for this part always deeply moves me. It was from that amazing movie called "The Piano". The piece was called  Michael Nyman - The Heart Asks Pleasure First 

  (With having Asperger's I was so very tempted to take a few pictures very subtly to keep as memories. Yet I didn't do it because Deb would not have wanted me to. It took a whole lot of self control. ) Slowly people started coming up starting with the family. Deb went up then another of her friends went up with her as well. It was at this point that I had a few tears myself seeing this outpouring of emotions with people saying their goodbyes to this man in their own ways.There was even a chocolate bar up there which I found interesting and unique. We spoke to the guy's sister who after the funeral and she told Deb that "She was on of his 'Handpicked' friends." Meaning that she was special to him.

Afterwards we went to the wake or gathering at some beautiful Italian type of food place out west. Basically it took up the whole afternoon where we were stuck in traffic for nearly two hours coming back. We also had a birthday party dinner thing we had to go to as well that night. After that we didn't get home until really late at night. It was a really emotional and exhausting day for both of us because I was the one who did all the driving.

With going to that funeral Deb and I were affected by that because it showed us that sometimes in life there are surprises... You may not know what another person is dealing with like depression or emotional pain.

Pleas if you or anybody else around you is struggling please contact Beyond Blue, Life Line or any other organization that can help wherever you are...

Beyond Blue
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

Lifeline
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/

Mental Health in America
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help

More Helplines
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

General Hotlines
http://blog.justaskinnyboy.com/hotlines

Every life is precious including yours.... So please seek help...

"Holding The Man" Movie ~ Part Two

Well this is part two of my blog for this absolutely amazing movie. The next day Deb and I were at Saint Vincents Private Hospital for an appointment she had. When we were there I was thinking about all the AID's patients and how they were treated near there.  We also went to "The Bookshop" where I bought a copy of the book to read just to see what it said. Both Deb and I were feeling really emotional during the week partly to do with the medical procedures that I had on the Monday or the day before we saw the movie.


That whole week we were both feeling sensitive about the movies and how lucky we were to have one another... I love Deb so much and she loves me... Seeing that movie on screen so close up was so amazing and moving with how the feelings of youth are so intense. What I also found extremely sad was how they both died so young and they still had so much to give, love and live for...

Yet their story is still reaching many, many others beyond their graves... Their love was real and they will love on in the memories of those who knew them personally and also of those who have heard or seen their story in whichever way possible. May love be love in whichever way possible... Also may we become better people as well through that...

I'm also including a few pictures of what the real boy's looked liked and a Master's Apprentice's song that was in the movie as well which describes why they free type of lifestyle that some people had back then as well..  Also including a couple of pictures from the film also...

I'm in another reflective mood and feeling emotional today yet may all of you have a great day....

My Birthday

My mum, myself & 2 aunties.

Wow... My birthday on the 8th of September... What an amazing also special day that it was!!! The night before went out with a couple of friends for a couple of drinks which was good. As soon as it reached midnight they sang me "Happy Birthday" which meant a lot to me. Yes I was 40 years old at last after all these years... I was saying to my friends that I didn't even expect to make it to 25 years old. There was even a stage where I didn't think i would make it to 19 years old. So I am so blessed and lucky to be alive in a lot of different ways. They were really surprised to hear that yet were accepting of it. When I drove home at about 1:30am in the morning I was pondering for I knew I had to vote and have a really busy day. I got to bed and fell asleep which I needed to.

Next thing I knew the phone was ringing at about 7:45am in the morning and I answered it with a tired greeting saying 'Hello'. On the other end of the phone was my ex sounding very chirpy and nervous. This was not what I was expecting because my ex the year before broke it off with me for no apparent reason and then wanted to have no friendship with me which left me devastated. Then my ex sounded very happy and we were almost talking like nothing had happened... Next thing I knew my ex said "Have to go quick ajax!"

The 3 brothers and I

The phone went dead and I was hung up on all of a sudden. I was bewildered and stunned because of such an early morning wake up call. Before I could comprehend what was happening I got another 2 or 3 quick phone calls which didn't seem to make much sense because I realized that something could be wrong. Then that left me feeling sad and confused indeed. That one is a bit of a long story which I'll go into later. I had a busy day ahead so I packed my things up went and voted which I had to do then went up to my parents.

The corn fritters and salad my Mum made.

 When I got up to my Mum and Dad they gave me a couple of small presents which I liked. One was a small box which looked like a book that had the Eiffel Tower on it. My parents had to go to vote as well and we managed to find a park right outside the polling booth. Getting out of the car I was waiting for my Mum to get out I looked on the ground to find something... There was a $20 note just sitting there and I picked it up and showed a very surprised Mum. So that was a birthday present that I was not expecting to find that!
As soon as they voted we left to go to Ikea in Rhodes where my parents had to get something yet we were chasing time because my Dad had also planned to meet up with his brothers and their wives later on in the afternoon. When we got there I warned my Mum that it was a huge place with a one way 'traffic' where you had to walk around the whole place without turning around to get back out. With my Asperger's I am too blunt and honest sometimes and I didn't think to tell my Dad that in the car on the way over. So in short my Dad did not like setting of Ikea because he was in such a rush to get in and out. Finally we got to my Uncle's house in Pennant Hills which was a huge relief especially to my Dad. Walking into to the house I got a rendition of the song "Happy Birthday" from my uncles and aunts which I found was beautiful also such a greeting that I wasn't expecting.

The burnt fig ice cream & blood orange juice to die for.

We then had all of our greetings and then could relax, sit down to catch up. Being with the older generation was very special because I got to hear what it is like for them. It was so good to see Uncle John and Auntie Sue again after quite a while which meant a lot to me. Also for me to be the eldest grandchild reaching the grand old age of 40 was a huge experience also. I know that for my parents it was a big thing to catch up with them all again as well because they all lead busy lives. Yet I just felt very privileged for being able to be there and share in the experience as well. Uncle John brought up the fact that he met a young woman that day who was in the middle of reading or had read my book "My Life With Asperger's". She and he felt proud to know me or someone that knows me or related to me. My Uncle Brian called me aside and gave me a birthday card with a present inside which I wasn't expecting. I thanked both him and Auntie Dot very much for remembering my birthday. As my parents were about to leave I mad sure I got pictures of the 3 brothers as well as their wives separately. They all had to vote also before it got to late. We said our fond farewells as the sun was getting lower in the sky. On the way back to my parents in the car I felt a warm feeling of love in my body which was good.

The cute little bear I got from Ikea that day.

Also on the way home we dropped in at the shops where I helped Mum with the shopping and Dad had a short rest in the car. The rest of the night was a quiet night at my parents where my Mum mad a special treat of corn patties or fritters and an assorted salad. Also a desert treat of burnt fig ice cream with strawberries and the juice of blood oranges which was to die for. No my Mum didn't make the ice cream yet she bought it. Looking at my Facebook I found a lot of birthday wishes we I felt really humble about. It meant so much that all these people remembered my birthday as well and I felt so touched. I started replying to them all which took quite a while and would leave me busy for on and off for the next day or so. Midnight came and went as it does every night yet on this day it was the end of a very special birthday for me. But it was not quite over for me because the next night on the Sunday night was the family dinner with my brother and his girlfriend.

On the Sunday I went to church for the first time in ages and saw quite a few people I knew which was good. Then  a bit later in the afternoon I went home to get ready for the birthday dinner. It reminded me of a Chinese celebration with it being spread over a couple of days with all the birthday stuff. My parents picked me up where we met my brother and his girlfriend at Izumi Japanese Restaurant which I found on the Internet. It took Mum and I quite a while to find a place which was open on a Sunday night yet I was the one that found it.  It was excellent to see Cameron and Rachel again because I don't get to see them very much. Also with my brother I think he was very good for going to a Japanese restaurant because he doesn't like seafood. Cam and I have very different tastes because he likes everything chili Mexican hot and I don't like curries or hot food. When it's comes to his times I go to Mexican places for him yet that's because I love my brother.

A cute light shade with Cranes on it.

What I was hanging out for was my grilled eel which I love and rarely ever have. I hadn't had it for many many years and I could almost taste it. So when the waitress came we ordered some entree food to share and our main courses. It finally came to me and I excitedly ordered my eel. Only to discover that they had run out. My heart sank like nothing else and looked at my Mum's reaction which was her head down on her hands. She knew how much I was looking forward to this and really felt it with me. Meanwhile the order passed to Rachel and Cameron who ordered theirs then I found some Tempura and a plum wine to drink which looked really nice. My Dad also ordered the plum wine and the evening resumed to catching up with everyone. The food came out and it was so yummy then after that Cam, Rachel and I had green tea ice cream. Also Rachel got a couple of early birthday presents because her birthday is only a few days after mine which is nice.  The wonderful night eventually finished up with a photo that I have to get at the end of every family function. Yet before I could get another photo my camera memory was full but it didn't matter to me. I don't know about the rest of the family yet I had a very full little belly yet was just comfortable. All in all my birthday weekend was quiet and it meant a whole heap to me sharing it with people that I love and care for. Until next time...

Our shared entree's

My Tempura

Cam, Rachel and I