Tuesday, November 8, 2011

30 Years In Sydney!!!

Please note..... Sorry for not blogging sooner... I had trouble accessing my account for a bit....
Imagine a November thirty years ago in Western Australia. Kalgoorlie was the place way back in 1981 where my family was living. Because of my Dad's work we had to move way over east to Sydney to start a new life in a sense. My brother and I as young kids did not realise the full impact of the move until we got there in New South Wales.
We all left our friends and some family over there while we set of on our huge trip. Across the Nullabor plain, through SA, Vic and then to NSW with two kids and a dog who used to fart a bit in the car.When the dog farted all the windows came down with all our noses nearly dying from the smell. My parents were very brave taking this on this enormous trip. Anyway we all survived the trip.

Upon getting to Sydney we all had to learn to adjust to the life here. My brother and I both started school the same month we came to a smaller school of about 14 students from 400 odd students. We also had a much smaller house which was right next door to the church which was interesting.

For me the great feeling of homesickness came over me very early and I think that was because I was older then my brother. Nearly every night I used to cry for WA and wished I was back there. I'd also wake up in the middle of the night and read book until the early hours of the morning. My poor parents were trying to reassure me that we were only going to be here for about 3 to 4 years at most and then Dad's work will move us again somewhere anyway.

Around the time of the anniversary all of us including my brothers girlfriend went to a Mexican restaurant for a meal to celebrate this important time. It also had really good food.
After that meal we were all full up and couldn't eat anything else.

Yet 30 years later we are all still all in Sydney with a lot of time gone underneath the bridge. I still miss WA all the time and try to go back there every chance I get. Last time I was over there was about two years ago and it's been the most visited Aussie destination to me over the years. There is always one thing for sure that I still consider myself a real Western Australian at heart.... Even 30 years later.....
Until next time...... See you later.....

Monday, October 31, 2011

Armenian Cultural Day

On Saturday night I stayed overnight at my parents to catch up with them and as I was getting out of the car I saw next doors tabby kitten over near the bushes. I went over it wondering what it was doing foraging in the bushes and gave it a quick pat. I started to walk off and heard this scruffling (that's how I can only describe it) noise, turned around and saw a baby bird just standing there who the cat had caught. I took it inside to my parents who were watching TV at the time and were extremely surprised seeing this little patient in my hands. Yet I elaborate on that at on another blog entry.

The Sunday morning I went to church for the first time in quite a few months which was interesting and good. Over the past few months the church had finished it's renovations and also in the past couple of weeks changed the church service times. With those changes they have been quite hard on me because it is very different from how I once knew it. I'll also write about that on another post.

So anyway I caught up with a few people and a family I know also who invited me to the school fete at Frenchs Forest Primary School. I said I would meet them there after dropping of some food in the fridge at home which I did. I got a bit distracted having a small something to eat, texted them I was on my way then went up there. Going there I saw a sign for The Armenian Cultural Day in Duffys Forest on a bridge across the road.Arriving there I called them yet no answer. At text came and said I just missed them. So I decided to go to the Armenian School Fair because it was going to close in the next hour or so. Looking in the street directory I couldn't find the school or remember the name of the street. So I had to do a great big huge loop around the streets and traffic light to see the small sign again...yet still be careful of my driving. Getting past that bit I then drove for a little bit more to find a street to turn into then look at my map.

S0 beginnith the saga of finding my way to the Alexander Primary School out in the back-woods of Duffys Forest. Little did I know how far away it really was and how many times I had to stop of and look at the map. On the way there I even got more confused and stopped of at the Japanese School fete or fair yet didn't get very far. Just as I was trying to find the entrance I saw a lot of people walking out and it was THEN...I figured it out that it was basically finished there. I got back into my air-conditioned car which was much needed because it was such a hot day then I managed to find the place at long last. I was lucky to find a car spot because it still seemed very busy there. I was so nervous about going into a place with no-one I knew or a language I had no idea on how to speak. I did something that I don't normally do yet that was because of nerves.

Walking into a huge courtyard I found myself surrounded by people, food stores and other types of stores as well. I felt like a real alien in my own country and city walking around having a look. It was the strangest of feelings because I felt like I was almost trespassing on some type of private function or day. It was like everyone could tell that I was an outsider spying on them or something. I have no idea why I was feeling so vulnerable there yet I was and it was scary as well as totally new.What was also driving me was that I wanted to learn more on the school and also the day. Walking over to the other side of the courtyard I saw some more stalls as well as one with some types of bracelets, a religious poster with Armenian writing on it amongst other things as well. I wished I could read what it was saying yet couldn't. There was some modern singing in the background being performed so I managed to find a seat and watch for a bit. The crowd was grooving along a bit and I found myself swaying a bit also. I felt like asking someone sitting around me what the song was about that they were singing..yet didn't have the guts to do it.

Getting up I walked up a bit further to the see what else was up there and then I noticed the school hall which I nearly missed. Going inside it was like an Aladdin's cave of posters and musical items some f which I hadn't seen before. On the walls were different part of Armenian music like classical, religious, popular, folk and a few other kinds as well. There were also pictures and names of people of I have never heard of before or even seen. I was totally fascinated and wanted to remember as much as I could. I didn't have my normal camera with me so I got out my mobile phone and started taking pictures with that instead. I also walked into the foyer of the school and found this amazing tile mosaic with so much detail to it which covered about 10 feet high and 10 feet wide or bigger. I still had a big urge to talk to someone yet was to shy to do so.

On the way out of the hall I stopped and looked at big coin celebrating Armenian independence to a republic or country. There was two oldish men standing near me and told me it was a coin for their country which set us of into a conversation for about 15 minutes to half an hour almost. We talked about anything from the founding of their country 20 years ago, Armenians around the world, the sad genocide of years gone by, classical Armenian singers, the countries very long ancient history, all the different types of instruments, Armenian's being the first Christians, the Armenian Church in Sydney, the Armenian alphabet, letters and the source of it from nature, a very famous Armenian poet and musician from the middle ages, also how the country was once known as "The one with a thousand churches" amongst quite a few other things as well. Outside I could hear some folk music and dancing yet couldn't go out because I was too busy talking yet it sounded fascinating. One of the men I was talking to actually owned this instrument in the picture here which I found fascinating. He also said how he had repaired the instrument and his daughter learnt how to play it. He also worked with some type of artworks like pottery or tiles. After talking to those gentlemen I felt so relieved and a bit better so I finally introduced myself to them. They told me their names yet I could get my mouth around the words properly yet I thanked them very much for their kind hospitality.

As I was finally leaving decided to have another look at the cross bracelets again. On one of them I notice a name called "St Serge". I asked to owner who didn't know then she asked someone else about it. I was told that St Serge was a saint of winter or the cold or something like that. I decided to buy another one I found because I had no real idea who he was. I also saw these pastry or sweet things on the way out and asked how much they were. The lady ended up saying that it was the end of the day and I can get 6 for $10. I got 3 of each type which was one was plain and the other had ground walnut, spices and cinnamon in it. Also luckily they just had enough change for a $50 note. Again I thanked them very much and left feeling very humbled indeed. That night after getting home and having a bit of a rest I started looking up Armenian information while watching TV. I found myself too fascinated for many hours looking at all these different facts than watching the TV. I was also trying to find out more information about St Serge and his story. I also rang my Mum and told her what I had done that day and how I went to the fair day. She was happy that I had a good and interesting day. That night I went to bed in absolute awe of the Armenian people and culture gaining a whole new respect for them all over again. I've always liked and had respect for the culture yet that day reaffirmed it once again for me.
The schools website where the cultural day is here down below. The school is called is Alexander Primary School. They seem to be a very good and interesting school indeed.

Again thank-you for reading more about my life's journey yet take care until next time soon....

Recovering From Being Sick

Over the last four weeks or so I've been really sick with a flu or cold. PLEASE NOTE: The photo's in this blog are trying to describe how shaky I was feeling. I couldn't find any photo's of me being sick.... There were days where I was blowing my nose every few minutes it seemed like and that my nose was getting sore. I also had a sore throat that with every swallow it was really hard so I bought some strepsils which did help for a few minutes. With the coughing it felt like I was doing it a lot and I was getting no peace from myself. Headache's, weakness and feeling bit feverish were another part of the fun......NOT!

So after trying to rest, be quiet, not see people for fear of infecting them for about two weeks my Asperger's was starting to annoy me and get on top of me. Sure I quite like my own company and do feel comfortable with it yet this was getting a bit to much. I wanted to do some more cleaning of my house and also go out places doing things and I was getting very lonely. I do like people and being around people even though I do get quite anxious with it yet that's normal for me.

I can't remember exactly what week it was yet I started getting really bad dizzy spells on a Sunday or Monday or Tuesday. It felt like that the room was spinning whenever I lay down or moved and it was the most horrible also scary feeling out. It was worse than the most drunk you've ever been times 30. Worse was to come with the nausea and being sick along with sore feeling ears. The writing group was going back after a few weeks back so I had to inform them that i couldn't make it because I was so sick. One of the ladies whom I emailed didn't seem to impressed with that yet I said that I was sorry.

The next day I went to the Doctor feeling like death warmed up and aching all over as well. My nausea was bad when I was waiting in the waiting room. So I had to use the surgeries toilets and empty my stomach contents which wasn't nice. I was worried that I couldn't last out my time in the waiting room.... yet I did. After 20 to 30 mins it was my turn to see the Doctor who examined me. He said I had a build up of fluid in my ears and I had quite a bit of mucous in my throat. I got prescribed some antibiotics and some Stemetil for the nausea instructing me to go home and rest. On the way back home I got the medicines from the chemist and as I walked in my door I felt like a zombie. So over the next week or so I slowly improved yet still wasn't back to full health. I also found that I had been quite depressed with being sick for this long also yet that maybe is normal. So at last I'm coming out of the woods which is good. I'm sorry for being quiet for this month of October yet now you know what was going on with me... I was under orders to get myself better!
Now you will hear more from me on my blog... Take care until next time.....

Sunday, September 11, 2011

My Birthday

The eighth of September was my birthday and it was an interesting birthday this year. I had no birthday dinner yet a longish type of grazing on food. It was quite a grey day in Sydney with a bit of rain and I caught a bus into the city with my parents. For the first part of it my parents had a couple of meetings so I occupied myself with a chai latte at world square.

After the meeting I met up with Mum where we caught a bus to Darling Harbour to the exhibition centre. It was "The Fine Food Fair - of Australia" that we were going to for the afternoon and see a lot of different things. That day I wasn't feeling that well and was in quite a bit of pain and discomfort even with the advils I took. Anyway at the fair we were to walk and look through five very big halls of different food, kitchen gadgets, a chef competition, food from different countries and I think also demonstrations or two. Mum was also doing a bit of work along the way which I didn't mind because it was interesting.

Anyway we started seeing different items and trying quite a bit of different food in quite quick succession. We only got up to the second hall I think where I had to much and felt quite queasy. So It was quite funny being around all this food with people offering it to you yet note being able to eat it. There was so much I wanted to try yet I just had to sit down on a lounge until I felt a tiny bit better while my Mum had to keep working. The rest of the time at the food fair I found hard yet was determined to catch the bus back home with my Mum because we make a good team.

We walked from Darling Harbour up to Town Hall where we managed to catch a quick bus. Upon sitting down we both felt happy just to be relaxed and being driven by the bus-driver. We discussed whether or not I come up and stay the night yet I didn't feel well enough to come up. So we said our 'Goodbyes' on the bus and I thanked Mum very much for a very nice day. I went home and heated up my heat-packs put them on myself then I rested for a while. I looked on my Facebook to discover about over 200 or so birthday wishes which deeply moved me nearly to tears. I kept scrolling down, down, down, down, down and down and it brought a huge smile to my face that people remembered me on my birthday. It tool me the next few days to reply to everyone on my Facebook yet I was determined to do it. I also got a few birthday phone-calls text messages and wishes from quite a lot of people as well which meant a lot to me. It filled my heart up with a lot of love and joy!! So thankyou everyone for all your wishes!!!!
Until next time.....

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers Day for the first Sunday of September Dad!
As a family we all decided to meet in Darlinghurst and have a brunch. So Dad, Mum,my brother Cam and his girlfriend Rachel all met up at the "Two Good Eggs" cafe.

The food was wonderful and the company was really good as well. It was special just having a family meal together celebrating Father's Day. We don't meet up all together that often yet when we do it is well worth it.

So Dad got spoilt with presents including jelly baby jelly beans which he adores. I also gave him a present which he liked as well. He was in his element and enjoying it.

So Happy Fathers Day again Dad!! I'm glad you like your day of celebration!!!

Below is sourdough, goats cheese, smashed walnuts with honey dish which is so beautiful and yummy. I was so full after the meal that it wasn't funny....

Friday, August 19, 2011

Four Birthday's In One Day.

Saturday the 13th of August was really interesting for a few different reasons. It was a day that four birthday's coincided in one day form the ages of 3 years to 81 years of age. So there was a massive age range of about 78 years which is nearly a lifetime and a half. It wasn't until that night that i discovered that here were actually four birthdays of people I knew. Yet only a few days before when I only knew about three birthdays on one day.

The people whose birthday's on that day were my Uncle Dave who is my Mum's older brother turning 81, then Darren May a friend of mine from primary school who is in his 30's, my parent's next door neighbour's kid named Sally who is between 7- 10 years old and a friend of mines kid Ryan who's turned 3 years old.

So with Darren and Ryan it was a kind of combined birthday party at a park on the shores of Narrabeen Lakes. It was an afternoon of small kids running about riding bikes and having fun. Although their were a few childhood disagreements from the birthday boy and his guests. Their were quite a few adults there and a barbecue lunch with steaks, sausages and different salads and bread. Not to forget drinks of soft drink, beer and wine that basically covers it. Also they had some lollies and sweets as well. They also had my very, very favourite party treat which was CHOCOLATE CRACKLES!!!!! After having two in quite succession after the main lunch my poor stomach was starting to turn quite a bit. It reminded me of my own childhood days of how I couldn't have that much sweet food otherwise I'd be literally sick. I don't know why that is the case yet I'm always really sensitive to sweet food.

They also had two birthday cakes for the birthday boys which was interesting. After the end of those few hours I was freezing and glad to get home after dropping of a couple of people. The next afternoon I went to Darren's mum house for a bit more of his birthday celebration and this time had some of his cake. With his Mum and relatives we were reminiscing about the old times when we all first knew each-other. Oh how the times had changed and the years flown by...... Yet it was a good couple of days of birthday celebrations....
Until next time.....

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Dad And A Movie About A Dog

Last Saturday was a interesting day. I went up to my parents because I wanted to have some bonding time with my parents yet most of all with my Dad for once. It was an afternoon with my good ol' Dad and a dog movie. It was an Australian movie called "Red Dog".

Upon entering the cinema we noticed that there were a lot of people there also. During the movie there were a lot of laughs yet it was very moving as well. Of how a dog can have unconditional love, friendship and mateship. It was how an animal can touch so many people and also how an animal can still be loyal as well. An intelligent dog who doesn't forget. I could relate to the dog because I'm loyal to my friends and I have really deep feelings as well. I don't want to give the plot of the movie yet it stays with you long after seeing it. In the movie their were also a few tears which was nice. In one part of the movie there was a man nearby who I saw had tears in his eyes as well.

So it was a movie with a true Aussie heart and how animals or most of all dogs can move people onto a different level of feeling. My Dad was also moved by the movie as well which was nice. Seeing the movie with my Dad meant a lot to me because it was an important bonding time. I often do quite a lot with Mum yet not much with Dad. The last movie I saw with Dad was "Avatar" which was a year or so ago. So to have father and daughter time was special considering the past. When I was a teenager and young adult I didn't even want to be near my Dad or close to him. So considering that it's a great big turn-around from years ago. For me I feel that it is important to spend time and catch up with your family. So I encourage you in the future or next week to catch up with your family members.

I've also included an picture of my Dad and also our families old dog called Tess. She died a couple of years ago and she was very well loved and cared for until about 16 years of age I think.... I still miss the poor old dog because when my parents were away I took care of her also. She was such a beautiful natured dog who I loved and still love and miss. Her grave is in my parents garden as well so she is still close by in some respects.

Also including a link for the movie "RedDog" information:


I hope you have a good day..... See you next time....

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Day Norway Cried... And The World Mourned With Her

On Sunday morning I awoke at my parents house and went upstairs to have breakfast. Getting up there I saw my Mum and she told me two bits of sad news. One being a massacre in Norway from a man who is a Christan farmer. he set of a bomb in Oslo and gunned down people at a youth camp on a island. The second bit of news was the troubled singer Amy Winehouse dying in her London house somehow. With hearing all this my heart sank and my stomach turned. I couldn't believe as to what I was hearing.

That day my parents and I were reeling from what happened in the world. With my having Asperger's I found myself thinking about it more and trying to work it out. After reading the article in The Sun Herald I was dumbfounded. I was on and off the computer all day looking up bits and pieces of both events.

Today my head is still everywhere and my heart as well as prayers goes out to the people of Norway. I didn't think I could write an ordinary blog-post yet do something completely different. I was inspired that I wanted to write a poem about it. Sure the poem doesn't rhyme or stuff like that yet it is just short points of facts I've observed and also been thinking. I haven't written a poem in quite a while yet I feel it is a tribute and most of all rememberance to those who lost their lives. This poem doesn't have answers or judging yet is simply saying how it is affecting me.
I hope you like it.... Here is the poem...

The Day Norway Cried..And the World Mourned With Her

On a quiet Friday afternoon

Oslo's peace is decimated
Metal, glass, people, blood everywhere
As confusion is now present
A few hours later...
A lone man in a police uniform
Wearing a false power of trust
Crosses to a small island (on a ferry)
His mission...
Only known to himself
Setting foot on the island
He changed the world's history
He brought death with him
Creating fear and havoc
Hunting down some of Norway's youth
Saying "You all must die!"
Two hours later 90 or so people are lost
Leaving many injured, wet, cold and bewildered
There are more questions than answers
People asking 'How?', 'Why?'
The news spreads around the world
Causing shock and disbelief
May we remember those who were lost
Also to everyone affected
Praying for justice and peace
This was the day that Norway cried...
And the world mourned with her.

At this time also may we remember that the power of love is greater than the darkness of evil. sure there is no real answers at the moment because it still too early. We will all have to wait and see what happens now not letting this man have a platform for his political ideas. His name and crimes will be recorded on the walls of infamy where justice will be done.
Norway you are in my heart and prayers....
Farewell until next time....

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

In Memory Of Val Harris

On Tuesday 5th of July at 12pm last week, I went to a memorial service at a church that I've been going to off and on since I was a kid of thirteen years old. I felt unusual going to the church for a couple of reasons with one of them they've added a new bit onto the church recently. The second reason was it was to remember Val Harris who had died last Tuesday night the week before. For a few years she had been valiantly been battling cancer which had grabbed a hold of her. Am amazing thing happened which was as the cancer grew bigger her faith and testimony grew and spread to those around her.

The service was a celebration of her life as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a very dear friend to a lot of people everywhere. As I was getting to the church I noticed that all the streets nearby were jam-packed with parked cars everywhere. I even had trouble finding a car spot whihc you don't normally do for a service. Even at about 11:54am or so as I was walking into the church there were special touches from Val. Upon arrival I received a little purple Gideon new testament bible with the memorial service brochure. When I walked in I was surprised to see a sea of people who had come to pay their respects to her - Val.

I managed to find a seat for myself then about ten minutes later I found my parents in the front part of the church and brought them to where I was sitting. My parents had known Val also since I was a kid. Byrne her son was actually in the same year at me in school and Debbie her daughter was a couple of years below me. So basically we've all known each-other for many, many years since we were young. Val was also really heavily involved in the school that we went to as well which was great. I remember on a year six camp Val and a few of the other mothers came with our class of about thirty kids with our teacher to a national park. The camp was for a week of hiking through bush at Heathcote National Park and camping with tents etc.... Anyway it was a really exciting adventure for us all being in the bush and doing all the bush stuff. In the last few days of the camp we got to a waterfall and creek where we were all swimming and jumping of a bit of a rock down below. Some of us were drinking water from the creek and we had Hungarian Goulash for dinner. The next day was raining and about ten of us including me were really sick as in going both ends which was horrible. I was in a very bad way and I remember Val as well as the other mothers taking care of us sick kids. They were like the Florence Nightingale's or guardian angel to us during that time. We all somehow stumbled about two to three kilometres back to the the train station which was hard. Getting to the train station I lay on on of the benches which I needed to. The place was called 'Waterfall' yet i vomited and I always remember it that there was another type of fall there as well. You can imagine the rest. As you can see I've recovered from that and am still alive typing this blog as you are reading it.

During the service we heard a few words from Debbie, Garnet her husband and Byrne read a few verses out of the bible. Sitting there were heard the beginning of a friendship between Garnet and Val. It lead into a love story of how they married then moved from Zimbabwe which was formerly known as Rhodesia to Australia then settled down. Seeing Garnet there on the platform talking about his best friend and wife with such meaning was very moving to me. I'm sure other people were really moved as well. We also saw a montage of photo's with music which came up on the screen with members of the 300 plus congregation sharing memories as well. It occured to me just how many people she has touched with her life an it got me to thinking. That means for me that with my life I am touching other people as well. Also that I do value and matter as well like everybody does.

Garnet shared a few stories about how Val looked at "The Big 'C'" - for Cancer. During church one time Garnet stood up and shared with everybody about the cancer referring to to it as the "Big C'". Val was quick to correct him and said something like "The Big 'C'" wasn't cancer in her life yet Christ was instead! The cancer was a "Little 'C' " instead. I'm pretty sure I was there that day at that particular service yet it was poignant to hear it another time. With other situations and time like that she was like a shining light out there who shared with people her great love for God despite what was happening to her. She still ministered and shared with everyone around her no matter what.

Words are not coming easily to me here yet you just had to be there to see and hear the service. The service went for about two hours then there was afternoon tea as well. Walking away with my parents I felt a deep sense of sadness and mesmorisation. I was astounded to see how many people had been touched by Val and also how we do affect others around us. That night Val breathed her last was the night that the world lost a very generous, loving, caring and Christian women. She was truly unique and those of us who knew her were well and truly blessed. She is one person who was a real character and I will never forget her. She has seen me grow up since I was a kid into an adult which means a lot to me. She was like almost family to me and I loved her as such. She will be sadly missed by everyone in the church community yet she is in a better place now away from the pain of cancer. Val Harris may you Rest In Peace! You will always be remembered and loved!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Happy Birthday Mum!!!!

Last Saturday only a couple of days ago... 2nd July was my beautiful Mother's birthday. We all decided to go to Yum Cha at Chatswood for the birthday celebrations. Finally we all met up outside where I gave my brother Cam three Easter eggs which I had saved for him and his girlfriend. He was quite surprised because he wasn't quite expecting it. We managed to get a table really quickly which was lucky. We've all been there before where the queue for the table is about half an hour long or so which hasn't been good.

Upon being seated we decided to exchange the birthday presents to my Mum which was great. From my brother Cam and his girlfriend Rachael Mum got a reasonably large Cupie doll which was as it turns out in a chef's costume. My Mum was so happy because she collects chefs and can put it in her now growing collection. I gave Mum two wooden statue type angels with one saying 'love' and the other saying 'peace'. Yet I don't think Dad gave her a present there but did at home in the morning. I forgot to ask what he got her yet I'll find out. All in all she loved all the presents that she got.

Soon after we managed to get some food from the trolley's which were going around. After about ten minutes we had several different plates on the table including a pot of Chinese tea to share, fried squid, prawn rolls, pork buns, spring rolls, other rolls with prawn and garlic, some type of noodles, eggplant with fish roll thing, a Peking duck pancake each and quite a few other items also that I quite can't remember what they were. I also right at the very end saw some chickens feet which I wanted to have but if i had anymore I would have burst. For dessert we shared a coconut jelly with red beans in it and also we had some mango type of pudding with a bit of condensed milk on it. By the time we had all finished we were so full that we could have rolled out like balls out of the restaurant.

Before we all went out into the big wide world again I managed to take a couple of family photos just to remember the occasion. Yes an occasion of a birthday family get-together where sharing food and most of all company is one of the best things to do. Yes my Mum has another year of wisdom and experience underneath her belt yet it is still great to have her here. I realised something this afternoon... That last Tuesday night as I was writing my blog from last week some-one very special to a lot of people was losing their battle with life. It was strange as I was writing my blog about my parents growing older...that she - Val had passed over into God's hands. So thinking about it tonight I am so glad and grateful to still have my special Mum alive. Also not to forget my Dad as well who is still going along strong.

So I am so glad that my dear special Mum has had a very Happy Birthday surrounded by family for some of the day!! Also Mum as each year passes I am appreciating you more and I am very lucky to have a Mum like you. I pray that you may have many more happy birthday years ahead of you... Farewell for now....

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Parents Growing Older

I remember when I was a kid I looked up to my parents so much. I thought they were the best people ever since sliced bread. They were fun, lovable and eternal...never growing old. My brother and I always had heaps of fun doing family activities with them and our pet dog Keleb. She was the most beautiful dog ever which we all loved! Sure we had a few other pets along the way yet things happened to them.

When my brother and I were teenagers then the dynamic changed for all of us in the family in a lot of different ways. I'm sure in some ways that happens in most families when the rush of young adult-hood start to come in at full force. It was then the parents became a bit uncool and daggy especially for my brother yet me as well I suppose. We noticed that there age was older slightly compared to ours and that they were getting a few hairs here and there which was a bit whiter. My Dad's black beard now started to have white speckles in it...Yet I didn't pay much attention.

As the years progressed to the twenties and oncoming thirties for my brother and I life was still going. We noticed when the last of the Grandparents had died off that "Hey we are all mortal and time is limited." For me after seeing my Grandfather die and then a couple of years later my once strong and sprightly Grandmother go so downhill was a bit of a shock to the system. It was like time had caught up with them.

One Saturday years ago I'm pretty sure it was I got contacted by my Mum to say Dad was in the local hospital with a minor stroke or TRC?! or something. It was like a wave of shock swept my body and I couldn't believe it. "My Dad's healthy...Nothing EVER happens to him!" were some of my thoughts.
Going up to the hospital and seeing Dad lying in a hospital bed was a jump-start to the system. It was like that he was human and living after all. Yes it may be a strange way to describe it yet that's how it felt. I looked at Dad differently after seeing drips in him, hospital gown etc....

Now the most recent part of the story which is a couple to three weeks ago has come up that has been like a real kick in the guts and wake-up call in a few ways. I'm not meaning kicking literally yet it's been like a real big surprise. One day I get a phone-call from my Dad late in the afternoon talking about getting ready and planning for retirement type of plans and other such stuff. Quite a lot of it was pretty meaty and life changing for everyone. I don't want to go into the details yet it has made me realise that they are growing older and that one day they will die. I also started thinking about my future and quite a few issues there as well. The phone conversation ended with Dad yet during that week I had a couple of phone conversations with both parents.

I found myself having quite a lot of questions like 'How to deal with older parents?', 'What will happen in the future?', 'What happens when they die?', 'How old will they live until?', 'What will happen to the family?', 'What if they don't get Grand kids?' amongst numerous other questions which I found confusing..... I started thinking about my ex and the wisdom that was possessed there. Of how my ex's parents are quite a bit older or ten to fifteen years older than mine and my ex knows how to deal with things like that. Even though there was a misunderstanding a couple of months ago I still needed to talk because I still trust my ex with deep type of issues. The reason being is because there was a great understanding and acceptance between the both of us. We could talk openly, freely and honestly about anything and everything. So on a Saturday I'm sure it was after careful thought I rang and got the answering machine which I left a message on to call me back. I waited for a couple of days and no reply so I started getting worried and sent a text message. A day or so later no reply one last text. I don't know what happened there yet that's another thing. Since them I've been left with a very heavy weighed down feeling.

I've got no-one who really understands to share it with and it is really hard for me. I've got all these different thought feelings and emotions about a whole lot of different subjects etcccc...... Yet there is no real way of expressing it. I got an email on my Facebook from a a friend of mine about a week ago saying something like "I haven't heard from you in a while...You've been quiet... Are you OK?'

As soon as I read that it deeply touched my heart and I do have to reply to her. With my Aspergers at the moment some major thing have been happening in my life and around me and it's like my world is in upheaval in some ways. A lot of new changes and things going on. Back to being quiet....The reason why I haven't done a post in a while is because I've had no real idea about what to say about what has been happening. Sure it may be all good for average people yet for me it's like recipe with no directions on how to complete it or a road with no sign or markers to follow.

If anyone has any ideas or comments about this post it would mean a lot to hear back from you where-ever you may be.

I hope that you can try to understand this latest chapter beyond my book "My Life With Asperger's" yet there is still someone living after the book who is still a living being and human like everyone else. I wish you a great day!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

It's The End Of The World As We Know It..... Or Is it?!

It's the end of the world as we know it!!! It is judgement day! Beware the unbelievers!!
Or it's now been put off until October 21st as he says.

It is now a week and a couple of hours since the prediction was supposed to come true.....Yet as you all know we are all still here with a few exceptions....who are now gone....
Meaning all those souls who have died after that time like the Australian actor Bill Hunter who die at about 8pm last Saturday night.http://au.news.yahoo.com/latest/a/-/latest/9491151/veteran-actor-bill-hunter-dies/

Also all the other people who have died that day and the week since. Because once a person dies it literally is...the end of 'THEIR' world as 'THEY' knew it. I know it sounds strange yet it is true...

Next thing they will know is that they will be in heaven or hell. I'm not going to go into the other possibilities because that is going to cause much debate I suspect. I found on the web a link that I will share with you basically how many people die per day in the world. Here it is.... http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_deaths_per_day_are_there_in_the_world

There has been many different reactions over the last week about this prediction in the media and among people. Yet it is also a known fact that a lot of religions and people have predicted when the end of the world is yet have never got it right. The only on who knows when the end of the earth is happening and that is God in Heaven as it says in the bible. So I guess no-one will ever know until that day does hit whenever it does happen.....
So there is something to think about....Until next time...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A Belated Happy Mothers Day!!!

This is a little late...since last Sunday two or three days ago. It's a belated happy Mother's day to everyone out there!! I hope that you had a very special and magical day with your children. This year I couldn't see my Mum because I wasn't feeling well yet both my brother and I did call her to wish her a very nice day. She said that she just worked and had a quietish day. So wasn't that bothered that it was like 'an ordinary day' in her words.

Thinking about it that Mothers day can be every day making sure that your always thinking about and caring for your parents. My parents have supported me so much while I was writing my book "My Life With Asperger's". Not just one day a year yet to celebrate the people who literally made you. Don't try to think of the details yet what they have done in a lot of ways is totally amazing....
A mother has given up and sacrificed so much for her kids over her lifetime. Some things we may never know how much yet that is life.....

So in a sense Mothers day is a celebration of a giving birth, cherishing and nurturing of life!
All the mother out there are all very special and very much appreciated....Happy Mothers Day once again!!

Also to my own Mum.... I love you so much and a very big thankyou for always being there for me no matter what!! I really do appreciate it!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dealing With My Depression

Over the past couple of months I've been feeling more and more depressed because of a few reasons. Each day seemed to be getting worse until last week on Tuesday night it got to be totally unbearable. Also my parents have been away for the past couple of weeks with their work which can't be avoided. What was more annoying was you can't contact their mobile phone over there. I texted my brother who was busy until after Easter which wasn't good. Also I texted this christian family who happened to be overseas in New Zealand on holidays. All types of thoughts were going through my head that I hadn't had in a long time and they were scaring me a lot.

I was alone in my unit trying to keep it together yet couldn't for what ever reasons. As a last ditch effort to reach out I remembered my ex who once said that if needed I could contact. Yet at the same time my ex for whatever reason has decided no contact with me. So I swallowed my pride and sent a text early in the morning to say how bad I really was and needed someone to talk to. I was hoping to get a phone-call back so I wouldn't feel so alone. Yet no phone-call or text message came and I felt even more alone then ever.

Not only had I lost my ex yet I have lost the friendship as well which has been hurting like hell. For five years of knowing each-other it is like I have lost my best friend whom I have ever had.
I've been trouble understanding it and my Asperger's has been getting in the way as well. It feels like a death and I have been floundering... I hate the thought of not seeing some-one that I care for never ever again. I was brought up to believe that good friends can always work things out no matter what! For me "Anne Of Green Gables" really strikes a chord with me of how close Anne and her friend Dianna are like 'Kindred Spirits'. For me it was like my friend and I were like awesome kindred spirits. It was like we were a real blessing for one another in a lot of ways.

I wonder if having Asperger's you feel things more deeply when it has to do with losing people who were really close to you. Or trying to understand loss and grief? I know that I really do appreciate people like the friendship I've lost. Also there a some other people who I feel close to also but it is rare for me. At the moment I feel like I can't really trust people any more and I don't want to get hurt again. It feels like there's a person shaped hole in my heart where this friendship once was. Can anyone else identify with feelings like that? At the moment I'm having trouble dealing with my depression yet I'm still trying to step forward everyday. I know that this post doesn't really have any answers yet it is just the way I've been feeling at the moment....For a while I've been thinking about doing a post of or called "Loss Of A Friendship!" yet been in two minds.... I suppose this is the closet as I have got to it. Yes sometimes I feel it is better to let things out then to hold things in....So I hope that this does help some how in someway that it can be good to say things the way they are.....
Until next time.......Cheers and take care!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Happy Birthday Cam!!

Twas my brother Cameron's birthday on Saturday 9th April. On that day I didn't get to see him because he was away with his girlfriend Rachael doing romantic things. So I did what I normally do on birthdays and that is ringing him up singing "Happy birthday to you......etc."

What was funny this time I was walking around a DVD shop trying to choose a DVD to hire. It felt strange not seeing my brother yet just to talk to him meant a whole lot to me. Yet over the weekend we all decided to meet up on the Monday night to meet up in Glebe for dinner. The menu of the night was Mexican at "The Fajita Sister's" which had a wall of pain even! Not what some of you may be thinking yet referring to the range of heat of their different chilli sauces.

For a Monday night it was packed out and the staff mucked up our reservation for a table of five so we all squeezed into a four seater upstairs which was quieter. We all managed to hear ourselves really well even though I was touching knees with my brother and the table.

After that we still decided to have a Spanish type of flavour and walk to "San Churro's" down the road and had dessert there. Although Rachael My brothers girlfriend had a mint flavoured very sweet hot chocolate. Instead of walking out of there we all nearly rolled out with everything that we ate. Outside near my parents car birthday presents were given yet I couldn't give anything to my brother as of yet but told him I'll give him something next time I saw him. The reason being is he's a bit hard to buy for. I also did take a few photos that night yet haven't uploaded them yet onto my computer.

With fond farewells we send our goodbyes to each-other after such a great shared evening celebrating my brothers birthday. He's changed a lot since we were little kids and gets embarrassed when i want to give him another hug "Goodbye". But the way I see it is he's my brother and I love him a lot. I also feel that it is really important to show the people you care for them because you don't know what is going to happen in life. But for my brother Cam... I wish you the best year yet and having loads of fun times with Rachael!! Farewell for now all!!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Say "Cheese!!!"

For the past eight weeks I've been doing a part~time digital photography course which has been held on Saturdays. It was being run through TAFE for three hours each week between the times of 9:30am to12:30pm. We finished today and I'm so proud of myself for completing it and only missing one lesson. I'll be showing more photos in the future for you... So here is a few examples of the work I've taken over the past weeks.